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short intro
Lulu.
A taciturn female with Peterpan complex.
Still failing at life but YOLO.
爱 books, fanfiction, shoujo manga, drama, band music, acoustic songs, FT Island and cats.
yosh,よろしく ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

the past



Arigatou
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Miichiko. Thanks to Pixel-diary for the cute pixels and icons.


worry
Wednesday, June 07, 2017 | 0 comments
I have this kind of worry these days.
I wonder what it feels like when you were driven by passion instead of driven by fear?
Would you be a little bit happier and easier?

I thought I started this because of my passion but eventually I was afraid. Afraid of everything. 
Of failure, of not knowing, of lack of knowledge, of lack of skills.
I was scared from the beginning and I am still scared when it's almost over.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be doing this. Because I am not good. 
Maybe I better off doing something else, I thought.
But what else I can do? I've been doing this for such a long time, but I am still no good.
I've lose confidence. I am ashamed because my grades doesn't really reflect my knowledge.
I've got those grades because I was motivated by fear.
To be honest, I don't want to end up like this.

I want to do this so I could be a little bit of help to other. 
I want to be motivated by passion. but I don't know where to start. I lost my way. and I am afraid.


FUTURE
PAST