Dream, though your beginnings might be humble, may the end be prosperous.
short intro
Amalina, otherwise known asLulu. A female with Peterpan complex.
Still failing at life but YOLO.
(爱) books, fanfictions, shoujo manga, drama, band music, acoustic songs, FTISLAND, BTS, ideas of soulmate and parallel universe & cats.
yosh,よろしく ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ
the past
Arigatou
Template was made by Miichiko.
Thanks to Pixel-diary for the cute pixels and icons. Lyric Quotes: Agust D, So Far Away.
I had this one friend. We were not particularly close. But sometimes we talked. We were classmates. I worked with him in few projects. He was an interesting person. He had a beautiful brain and good manners, always very helpful. He was like-able. I was always stunned by his brilliantness, whenever he voiced out his opinions.
Sometime this year, we all lost him in tragic accident. It was so sudden. I remembered I was getting the news on Friday lunch. It was so out of the blue I was dumbfounded. We were not the best of friend you know, I mean what we had it was a very curtsy relationship.
But his death left a big impact to me. Until today, it still is. Whenever I feel like taking my life for granted, my mind will consciously have this thought : He would never had this chance again even if he wanted to. Like he left behind his biggest dreams (though I never knew what it was), his loved ones, his future plans.
But I was here wasting my chances. I, at the very least have chances to be better. But I without a shame, trying to forsaken them. How humiliating.
This year was very harsh on me. It was so soul-consuming I feel like giving up at the first place. I cried every night, thinking this is not the life I wanted. I wanted to be happy but I was not. I am so tired physically and mentally I don't know if I could ever recover from it. But I did my best. I know I did my best to be happy. I tried very hard not to be consumed by the darkness again.
I will make an effort to give my best in everything, to not let the chances slipped out of me.
2019. I will anticipating the good news from you. See ya.
I had this one friend. We were not particularly close. But sometimes we talked. We were classmates. I worked with him in few projects. He was an interesting person. He had a beautiful brain and good manners, always very helpful. He was like-able. I was always stunned by his brilliantness, whenever he voiced out his opinions.
Sometime this year, we all lost him in tragic accident. It was so sudden. I remembered I was getting the news on Friday lunch. It was so out of the blue I was dumbfounded. We were not the best of friend you know, I mean what we had it was a very curtsy relationship.
But his death left a big impact to me. Until today, it still is. Whenever I feel like taking my life for granted, my mind will consciously have this thought : He would never had this chance again even if he wanted to. Like he left behind his biggest dreams (though I never knew what it was), his loved ones, his future plans.
But I was here wasting my chances. I, at the very least have chances to be better. But I without a shame, trying to forsaken them. How humiliating.
This year was very harsh on me. It was so soul-consuming I feel like giving up at the first place. I cried every night, thinking this is not the life I wanted. I wanted to be happy but I was not. I am so tired physically and mentally I don't know if I could ever recover from it. But I did my best. I know I did my best to be happy. I tried very hard not to be consumed by the darkness again.
I will make an effort to give my best in everything, to not let the chances slipped out of me.
2019. I will anticipating the good news from you. See ya.
• Born in 1992. Live in KL, Malaysia for all my life yet.
• The name Amalina came from Arabic word which means hope. The actual epitome of "I am your hope, I am your angel." (lol hobi)
• My nickname Lulu came from a cartoon that I used to like called The Little Lulu Show. And it was partly because there're so many people with the same name in my class back then, so we all came with some sort of nicknames. and I stuck with the name Lulu till very now.
• My internet pseudonym is lulumichin.
• I was a twin but my twin brother died before we were born. I am the eldest but not the first child. I had an older brother but he died early.
• I am neither a good or bad person. I might be a good to some and bad to another. But whatever.
•When I don't smile, I have resting bitch face. I tried my best to be smiley every time.
• I have one sided cheek dimple and also chin dimple (or butt chin).
• Tbh, I am usually kind and I try to think good about people. It is just I am shy towards stranger. But don't make me hate you, I'll hate you forever.
• Myers-Briggs type: INFP
• I don't talk much. A person close to me once said this; "We are okay because we knew you, but what do you do with people who don't?" I used to think a lot but these days I don't care anymore. Those who matter didn't mind, those who mind didn't matter (Dr Seuss).
• A clumsy realist. A walking irony. An introvert.
• I love FT ISLAND and my favourite is the bassist, Jaejin. These days I am a laid back fan (and old). I like their songs, they are awesome. They accompany me in most of my life. They are like an old friend, so comfortable, feel like home.
• BTS stan. What's funny was I used to not like them because of their debut song, No More Dream. Lol because I felt like they were mocking me. In 2013, I was a first year pharmacy student and I was quite lost and sad and mildly depressed because I contemplated a lot about my dream, passion and ambition then. But now, their songs give me strength. Thank you BTS if you ever read this lol.
• Love rock band music and slow acoustic songs. But I do listen to any sort of genres. Well it depends on my mood.
• I love scary movies. Not that I am brave but I guess I like the adrenaline rush and it is a good excuse to scream loudly. The only reason why I go to cinema actually.
• Love to write letter and receiving it. Because I think it's very private and personal. A snail mail is a YESSSS! (this would be one of ways to court me and don't confess through facebook pls if you don't want me to read it five years after hah legit true story. Sorry dude. )Oh, and time-capsule letters too so I could always laugh at my younger self.
• I love late night drive around city, watching lights. It was one form of healing for me. (and a perfect date as long as it is shariah compliance).
• A reader. Books, fanfictions, manga, poems, classics. I love it all. Most recently read: The Book of Lossby Julith Jedamus.
"How luxuriantly one's fears grow in the dark! Exposed to the sun they wither and recede, but at night they are rampant."
• Soulmates and parallel world theory intrigued me. It is a bittersweet concept. Isn't it?
• A drama watcher. (mydramalist)
• A fan of Kimi ni Todoke. It was such a cute story awww my heart.
• My guilty pleasure includes skincare and cosmetics. I kinda like buying these things because Idk, I just like them. (lowkey want to be a formulator hihihi)
• A coffee drinker. Used to drink for survival but I guess it became habit now. My favourite is Caramel Macchiato. I don't drink my coffee black.
• A cat person. I love my cats but why we are always in the love-hate relationship idk pls help.
• No matter how hard I try, crossing road is very scary for me. I thought when I got my driving license it's going to be better, but naaaaaaah I forever need someone to cross the road with me. Help me by taking my hand and escort me pls.
• I may look calm all the time but I killed you many times in my mind. lol
• I like green colour the most. If you paid attention, my clothes are usually in green.
•I like to learn language. I speak Malay, English and imperfect and basic Mandarin and Korean.
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Just put anything here such as bias, tutorials and what so ever
